the push

two days ago holiday nausea set in. I woke up at 5 am with a pit in my stomach and a million things running through my head. This is the point before big holidays or events I am planning where I realise that I have way more tasks to accomplish than I have time available. I start making lists and lists and recognise that there are some things that will not be accomplished, but I refuse to drop them from my list, just in case I magically find ten extra hours. I make myself physically ill. I refuse to accept that some things will simply not get done. Merry Christmas.